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Tuesday, July 16, 2019

The Song of Dominance...

Good Evening Naughties...

We have talked about the song of submission and what it looks like.  But what about the song of dominance?  What does a real dominant man look like?  As I said in the blog post called The Fake Dom, the way they dress has nothing to do with dominance.  If you like the large faced watch, suit, cologne, etc...then admit that you like a smartly dressed man.  But it has nothing do with how he exercises control.

The truly dominant man exercises complete discipline over himself.  He knows what he wants in a woman should he ever find one and he does not settle.  You will not find this man running through women and throwing them on the pile.  He might for awhile when he is young but eventually will start to lose interest in the girls who are less than he wants.  His communication style is solid and bears the foundation of a stadium.  He is a thinker long before he speaks and rarely makes a swan dive off of a cliff into the pool below only to discover on the way down that it is empty.  

He knows what makes others tick and how to encourage and uplift and bring out the best in people.  He has no need for beating his chest and sounding off because he is too busy being all of the things others only brag about.  He has a sound mind and doesn't run to drama.  He is generally fun loving but lives by a set of rules himself...and he will expect you to abide by the ones he sets for you.  

This man is often found to be most unassuming.  That is to say he walks, and talks softly, and carries a big stick.  He does not have to demand that you call him anything particular because you will just naturally want to.  He is deserving of the title in a way no other man has ever been.  You will know when you meet him because your whole world will turn upside down from the moment you meet.  You will feel as if you were struck by lightening and walk around in a daze because of how he makes you feel.  The true submissive knows
when she meets her counterpart.  It has nothing to do with height, looks or wardrobe.  It is his spirit that will set the submissive free to live out her truth.  

He does not demand; he inspires.  He does not bark and punish; he teaches and leads those under his tutelage to bloom into the best form of themselves by his solid example.  If by chance you are still brave enough to skate the line;  his punishments will be sure but consistent.  This man handles his own business and keeps his affairs private.  Should you be bold enough to offend or disobey him, the quiet calm from which his dominance arises, will surely shock you back to your own side of the line he naturally but clearly draws in the sand.  

I found a meme today that suits this post perfectly.  Enjoy.

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Not Every Girl Who Says "Yes, Sir" Is Submissive...

Good Evening Everyone!

Why I am up writing this instead of going to bed so I can get up at 4 a.m. I am sure I don't know but here goes...

There was an incident this week where I was having a discussion with a senior executive about how my workspace would be organized.  While we were talking a supervisor happened along, interrupted, took over my end of the conversation until I was called away and had to exit the conversation without being able to finish discussing the plan.  

She was corrected for her rude behavior and while I did not hear what the executive said to her, I could hear her profuse apologies.  When faced with two days of complaints at what was said, my final two pieces of advice was for her to talk to the executive and share her feelings to which she shook her head and said "No.  I'm not doing that." So I followed up with; "Then your only option is not to interrupt the man.  Apparently, he doesn't like it. So just forget about it and don't do it again." 

I watch women all day go on and on about how mortified they would be if their boss had to give them a talking to.  But when it happens they are spun out and their underlying attitude is  "How dare he talk to me that way.  I was not wrong in what I did."  

I beg to differ.  In this particular case this was not the first time this behavior was displayed.  Several staff members have had this experience with this person on a daily basis and the complaints have been numerous.  While I was giggling to myself a little bit that he let her have it...I am glad it wasn't me.  Number one because I have great respect for the executive in question and number two...he scares me just a little bit.  He is unafraid to be direct and cut a swath through fields of bullshit to get to a point.  He is not for the faint of heart.  And if you are going to argue any point with him, you better know what the hell you are arguing because you can bet he sure does.  

Perhaps he lays awake for hours thinking of every possible thing a person can say to his arguments and prepares for it.  I do not know.  But I know this; false humility, at the end of the day shows itself for what it is.  This man has the ability to appear out of thin air in a room without a sound.  He will catch those doing the grumbling with his own ears eventually.  As for me, I am content, (and fearful) enough, to mind my own damn business, stay busy and out of trouble.  That way when he shows up, (And he always does) I am not found in the middle of anything I shouldn't be.  

Ladies, submission is only perfected by practice.  Those of you out there who are grumbling about your bosses, are cursing yourselves.  These men sign your paychecks and pay your bills. They grant you the overtime and any other treats and benefits you get for working for them.  If they want you to change and grow to make their workplace better, DO IT!  You owe it to them to be the best you can be.  You never know what blessings will be showered upon you if you go to work with a willing heart and a good attitude.  Saying the words "Yes, Sir" is not enough.  You must be yielded on the inside and fully able to take correction without the ego getting in the way.  Only then do you cross over into territory that turns your life upside down and inside out for the better.  Somewhere in that space is where God resides.  

I hope this post finds you all well!  Have a great weekend!

Ciao! Bellas!

Monday, July 8, 2019

The Edge of Intention Chapter 7 is Coming...

Good Morning Naughties and Happy Post 4th of July Monday!

I trust you all had a wonderful Fourth of July holiday weekend and are rested up and ready to go!  I am!  

I was able to put a few things to rest this weekend that were distracting me, not only from my work, but writing this blog and books.  I am working on wrapping up Chapter 7 for the readers of The Edge of Intention.  Finally!  I slept for nine hours straight last night for the first time in months.  

I appreciate all of the counseling I have gotten from some of you about how to deal with some of the not-so-nice issues in the blogging world.  The last few months have been very taxing to me and have, on one occasion, almost seen me packing it up and heading for the hills.  

In Chapter 7, Sara has just gotten in pretty serious trouble over her misbehavior at a business dinner.  She takes a little break and hides out for a day or two at Daniel's expense.  I hope you enjoy the continuance of this story as they work out their issues, discuss what happened and move on from the psychological effect of her punishment over the ordeal.  

I will post the chapter by the end of the week.  Have a great week and stay out of trouble girls!  Or not...I certainly intend to get into my fair share.  :) 

Friday, July 5, 2019

Snap, Crackle and Pizazz Brings the Suitors Knocking....

Good Evening Ladies! 

I have gotten so many emails over the months asking how to find a partner who will spank them.  If it was easy I would have one by now.  If some of the people who love spanking weren't scary, I could have been spanked silly by now. But it isn't quite that easy.  It takes a bit of work. can think you have found the perfect partner online and talk for months...and one day they just never talk to you again.  Very sad and heartbreaking behavior.  

I know because I, as well as many others, have endured such things.  This last few months cured me forever of wanting anything online.  For those of us who actually do want a relationship, it has to be pursued in person at some point.  I have come to the conclusion that in person is much better.  There is no delusion about what you look like and there is little to hide.  When you can study a person's face when they talk to you it makes a difference. 

I have made up my mind, ladies, that I will bring all of my best features with me each day everywhere I go.  I will look and feel my best and do what I do best.  And that is; make people laugh.  I entertain at work.  I play with people.  I give nicknames that are apropriate that others don't think about.  I work hard to sparkle....if that means pouring glitter over my head before I go out the door in the morning when I am not up to my usual energy and shine....I do it! 

For months I have had a customer come in and try so hard to get me to go to dinner with him. Everytime I give him and excuse about how I am busy or have to work late.  Today, he caught me off guard and has finally won his dinner date with me!  I had to laugh because it took him a very long time to get a yes out of me.  The conversation went something like this:

"How is your holiday week going?" 

"Fine.  Busy.  I have been working everyday." 

"What are you up to tonight?" 

"Nothing.  I am going home to bed and enjoying rest because I don't have to be at work until late afternoon tomorrow." 

He looked at me and started laughing and said....

"Your ass is coming to dinner with me.  You just said you have nothing going on and I am taking you to dinner!" 

I started laughing because for the first time in several months it sounded like fun to go.  Here was a man standing in front of me with the courage to ask me (on at least ten other occasions) out to dinner with him.  No games, no deception, no bullshit.  He wants to go to dinner with me because he thinks I am beautiful, sweet, funny and that we would have fun.  I tend towards shyness in some situations and this is one of them.  He finally convinced me by saying, 

"I am not asking you to marry me. You are going to eat something before bed tonight. Let me take you to dinner and then you can go home and go to bed after we get done laughing about a few things."

I do not know if he is what I am looking for or not.  But I know that I like to have fun and everytime he comes in we have a laughing good time.  I don't have to wonder about his motives and he isn't trying to hide them.  They are out there and honest for all of the world to see.  Is he a spanking man? Who knows!  I am pretty sure I could convince any man to spank me with this mouth of mine! Haha!  What I also know is that I don't want to miss out on an opportunity if indeed it is one by being ridiculous.  

Those of you out there looking; stay happy.  Stay busy.  Lighten up and don't be afraid to have fun with someone you may not think is the one.  You never know how they could crawl into your heart and wrap themselves around your emerald earrings in no time.  I have said for a long time that the relationship dynamic eats physical attraction for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Everytime. Be what you are looking for and you will find it; or it will find you!

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Even With Apologies, You're Still Getting Spanked!

Good Evening Everyone!

Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback on Defiance! It is encouraging as a writer to read all of the discussion and ideas about the book.  Some of you have picked out every thread that I purposely left undone to finish in book two and one in book three.  I love how closely you are paying attention and are into the characters.  While I am loving some of your guesses, please understand that I cannot reveal the answers to some of them.  It not only would ruin book two for you, it would also make it impossible for me to make changes if I need to.  

I have had several things going on in my daily life that have knocked me off of my horse temporarily.  Posting Defiance gave me a little break from having to write every day.  And believe me...I have needed the break. I work a lot of hours during the week and writing happens either very early or very late.  This schedule of mine sometimes makes me touchy about once per month.  I am sure you ladies out there can attest that there are certain times of the month that are worse than others for getting into trouble with your significant other, or worse; your boss.

This isn't about playing spanking games.  This is about dropping your guard because you are irritated and snapping out comments or behavior that gets you into trouble.  This is no excuse for bad behavior and you may not intend to misbehave; but it happens.  I had one such experience today and I am literally on edge about returning to work tomorrow.

I have, as I said been working long hours and usually get plenty of exercise and rest to make it through just fine.  Today however, my boss asked a question and for a tiny instant and with tongue in cheek I snapped back with a smartass answer.  While most banter around our workplace is common, my snipey remark skated on the edge of his nerves and it showed on his face.  So much, I literally froze under his expression as he walked away.  I spent the afternoon worried that he would find a way to fire me.  Mostly, I was glad I did not have to go home with the man.  

After thinking about it for a few hours, I thought it would be exercising the better part of wisdom to apologize before having to face him again after the holiday.  His response was minimal and I truly feel awful for letting my guard down even for a second...

The truth is, after the last couple of weeks of extra stress, I spent the day needing desperately to cry.  If I could tell the story it would be too much to be believed.  However, like Allyson in Defiance, I must remain mute for reasons I cannot discuss.  It has been a jaw dropping shock to my system and the answer for me was to pour myself into my work.  When no tears of relief came today...I shared with my coworker that what I really need is to be spanked to tears so that I could drain the stress and settle into calm.  

Instead, I came home, typed out my apology and took a nap.  

I have thought all afternoon about everything I believe in and stand for and I have to say, if this had happened with a significant other, I would expect to be spanked regardless of my apology as a boss wouldn't dare.  In this way, I look forward to the day...I am also sure there is someone up there hearing my prayers and thinking "Careful what you wish for, Princess..." 

There is a certain security in having someone who puts a stop to our bullshit.  Even in the workplace it gives a sense of security having someone there who holds back misbehavior.  As you all know, I am not and never have been a diary blogger.  It is not my style.  However, on this day, I felt the need to get this out.  Thank you for reading and happy Fourth of July to you all.    

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Playing With Fire-Chapter 1

Allyson was numb. As Gabriel got closer to UW Hospital Allyson became frightened. She looked over at him as he drove through the underground parking garage and brought her to the emergency room doors. He turned off the cruiser and looked at her in the rear view mirror.

“Would you like me to come with you Allyson?”

“Yes please, Gabriel.”

Gabriel let her out and led her into ER. He did all of the talking because she was incapable of clear thought.

“We are here to see Sgt. Mark Grey. He is a police gunshot wound brought in an hour ago.”

“Oh yes. Go down this hall and turn right at the end of the corridor. Get on the elevator and take it to the fourth floor. You can talk to the nurse at the desk up there. He is in surgery right now and may not be out for a few hours.”

As they walked the halls and made their way to the surgery waiting area, Allyson could not help but think of the times she had wished he would be shot and disposed of. She hated him when they first met. He put her through so much fear and pain. She had fallen in love with him, gotten pregnant, married him and now was not the time for this to happen.

When they got to the nurses station in the surgery waiting area, Gabriel announced Allyson as Mark Grey’s wife. The nurse informed the surgeon that Mark’s wife was here.

Allyson sat next to Detective Morrison in silence.

“How are you holding up Mrs. Grey?”

She looked up at Gabriel.

“I’m scared. There was a time I prayed he would drop dead. I hated him. He took me, you know. Right out of my apartment. He told me he hated my mouth and my cop hating ways. He told me; no; promised me, that he was going to teach me how to behave like a lady before he let me go again. Looking back, I don’t think it lasted as long as he thought it would. I got sick with a high fever that lasted days. When I got better he never really went back to how he was before my illness. I think my weakness softened his heart or something. He never said it, but I often wonder how things would have gone if I hadn’t gotten so sick. He was always strict before I became pregnant. Very strict actually. After that though, he has implored me to behave so he doesn’t have to spank me. He apparently has a thing for sick people and children. Who knew?” She chuckled at the thought.

“But since we have been married, he has been a dream. But at the same time, I don’t push him either. I am tempted sometimes because he drives me crazy.”

She watched Gabriel’s face as she spoke. He seemed unaffected by her words. Did he know? Had he known when she was locked up in Mark’s basement in those earlier days? She decided to close the unspoken gap and just ask.

“Gabriel, did you know he had done this?”

“No. We didn’t know anything until you showed up with him at the Gala looking and behaving like Princess Grace.” She giggled.

“That’s when we knew what he had most likely done.”

“Can I ask you something?”


“Why do you call my husband Delta?”

He looked down at her cautiously as he answered her.

“ ex...Delta Force.”

She nodded; her eyes round as saucers. Allyson knew all too well the ranks in the military. She also knew “Delta Force” was an umbrella for a whole myriad of defense operations. Wow. Some of what he had told her made much more sense now.

“Gabriel, I will keep that you told me under my hat. He would never answer me when I asked what he used to do. He didn’t trust me because of my previous life.”

“Anyway, most of the higher ups at the Department know this about him. So when we all saw you there with him, we all knew why you were behaving so well. I have to admit although I’m not happy about it now, I commented to Robert that he must of waterboarded you 40 days and nights to get you to behave like that. With all due respect you were terrible to us.”

She laughed at the thought.

“He never waterboarded me. But he did put me through a lot. He spanked me a lot. A lot. Everyday. I think that is why I ended up sick. It was too much and I had never been spanked. And one day I was on the floor in the bathroom hugging his legs and begging him to please stop. And he did. He is not as mean as everyone thinks. He is really kind hearted. I told him I could not take anymore spanking but that I was sorry for all I had done and would do anything if he would please just stop. He didn’t hug me back, but he didn’t push me away. But then he made me get up on stage in front of everyone at the Gala. I was so mad about that I sent him a stinger from the podium. So, he kept working on me but life got easier after that.”

Gabriel was staring at her with the deepest empathy in his heart and tears in his eyes.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that, Allyson.”

“No. Its okay. I like who I am much better with Mark. I can see how hard you all work and appreciate it now. I really was awful.”

“Well, regardless of how it all came about, I am happy you two are together and in love with one another. Both of you needed it. And you are a gem for taking it all so well. You deserve a lot for that alone. If you need anything and I mean anything you let Vivien and me know.”

“Gabriel,” she whispered. He stared back at her with a question in his eyes.

“Somebody really did rape me the night I was arrested.” Allyson’s eyes were as wide as saucers as she broke eye contact and let her eyes fall to the floor aghast at the realization that it hadn’t been dealt with.

“Allyson, how do you know?”

“Because I know. I was in pain for days afterward and I knew what had happened.”

“I see.” Gabriel studied her.

The doctor and the surgeon came through the door and tore their masks off. Gabriel and Allyson stood.

“Mrs. Grey, your husband is going to be just fine. He was very lucky. The bullet entered his chest from his front left side, passed his heart, puncturing his right lung and lodged in his right side back rib cage. His spine, heart and arteries were untouched. He is going to be in a lot of pain and have a hell of a time breathing for awhile. But in about eight weeks, you will never know he was injured. He is going to need a lot of care at home until he gets well and he will need to come in for regular visits while he is on the mend.” Allyson collapsed against Gabriel and dissolved into tears.

“Thank you doctor. Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome, Mrs. Grey. That’s why we are here. You can meet him up in ICU in about an hour.”

Gabriel received a call and spent some time talking about what was happening. He spent most of the call listening to the details about what had happened to Mark. They had gotten the guy who they thought shot him. Mark had been waiting for the Sheriff’s Department to show up and they had gotten there right as the shooting took place and chased the guy down and captured him. Gabriel told them to hold him so he could interview him. It was 5:30 a.m. He was going to miss report this morning.

“Can you tell the girls to keep their phones on for Allyson. I will be in as soon as they bring Mark up to ICU. We are waiting for him. He just got out of surgery. The doctors said he is going to be fine. Once they get him up here and I get Allyson settled in I will be there. Anyway, she is going to be here without a car so tell them to be ready to help her if she needs it.”

“Will do, Gabe.”

“Alright. See you soon.”

When he got off of the phone, Gabriel pulled out his wallet and handed Allyson $100 for onsite emergencies if she needed to pay for anything.

“I don’t know if Mark has given you credit cards or if you have your own or what but here is $100 in case you need food or magazines or something. Please call Vivien if you need anything. I have to go back to the station and work on the bastard who shot him. I will probably not be back until this evening. By then he should be awake. Please let us know if you need anything, Allyson.”

“I will.”

She reached up and hugged him and thanked him for everything. They waited another twenty minutes and a nurse came and brought them into the ICU ensuite. It was a huge circular room, beautifully designed. Each room had sliding glass doors and windows. Once they got Mark set up and all of his machinery plugged in, they were allowed into his room. His face was white. The blood drained from Allyson’s face when she saw him with tubes sticking out of him in every direction. She grabbed Gabriel’s arm as they walked closer to him. She started shaking.

“Oh God.” she whispered as she shook. She dissolved quietly into tears. He looked dead. Gabriel hugged her and chuckled and said,

“Allyson, as terrible as he looks right now, he is just sleeping. Relax. He is going to be fine. Once he wakes up and starts demanding this and that, you will wish he was still sleeping. Men like him make shitty patients.”

Allyson started laughing. She knew he was probably right. She wiped her tears away while laughing at the same time. The room smelled like Mark’s cologne.

Mmm. The subtle smell of his favorite Armani cologne. Mark had class. Allyson bathed in the smell of him. He liked cleanliness. He would not, however, ever claim it was next to Godliness. His hypocrisy only went so far. No. Mark was positive he was going to Hell. And said so often. Maybe he can redeem himself by being a good husband and father while slowing his life down a bit. She could hope couldn’t she?

Allyson stood staring for the longest time. Gabriel had said his goodbyes and returned to work. The nurses came and went. One older nurse was standing beside her staring with her. Allyson wasn’t sure how long she had been there.

“You can hold his hand and talk to him. He won’t bite. We will wake him up tomorrow morning. For now that lung needs 24 hours to heal before he starts working it. He is going to be in a great deal of pain for awhile.”

Allyson nodded her head.

“You’re that reporter for the paper aren’t you?”

Allyson shook her head yes.

“But he is a police officer. You are married to him?”

Allyson smiled at the irony.

“It is odd isn’t it?”

The nurse chuckled.

“The whole world can change when you fall in love.”

It was Allyson’s turn to chuckle. Had she fallen in love? It had felt more like a tsunami hit her winding their two blood streams and heartbeats together. He understood her and she him. Each one calming the savage beast inside of the other. The nurse took Allyson by the arm and led her to Mark’s bedside. She picked up Mark’s hand and covered it with Allyson’s.

“Talk to him. Pray for him. He is in there and on some level can hear you. Let him know you are here and that you love him. He needs it right now to hang on. When the body is injured the mind can’t help but fall into a mild depression. It tends to want to give up because of impact and shock. Talking to him helps, more than most people realize.”

Allyson nodded her head. She waited for the nurse to leave before she started talking.

Mark was walking the halls of his house. Where had she gone. Had she run away from him for spanking her? He had been punched in the chest or gotten a strange cough. As he was dozing off he smelled perfume. A woman giggled and whispered,

“Die, you bastard.” More giggling. That perfume. He had smelled it before. When he awoke the ambulance and fire department were there. He was trying to talk to them but they would not listen. He was home. He had to tell Allyson what happened. What did happen? He did not know. Helicopter sounds. Lights. Gunshots. Screaming. “We got him!” Roberts voice rang out over the radio. Robert, it wasn’t a man it was a woman. He was flying. An ambulance does not fly. But he was flying. The house was empty. No Allyson. Their bed was empty. The covers were thrown back. Her robe was on the floor. Where had she gone at 4:00 in the morning? He fell back asleep.

Doctors are talking. Bright light. Darkness. Silence. Beeping sounds from medical equipment. Gabriel was talking to Allyson. He gave her money. Why did she need money? They had plenty of money of their own. What was happening? He could smell her. Her perfume was unmistakable. He felt her hand on his. She was here. He could rest now. She would make sure nothing happened to him. He fell back asleep.

She leaned over him and kissed his forehead and cheek. They were the only spaces available. Between the breathing tube coming out of his mouth and the bed being so high she couldn’t reach the other cheek.

“Oh honey. It is so hard to see you this way. Please hang in there. The doctor said you were going to be fine but I am so scared, Mark.” She buried her face in his neck and breathed in deeply and whispered in his ear,

“Oh honey, you smell so wonderful. You always smell so handsome and clean. Please don't leave. I have finally just found you. I don't want to live this life without you anymore. We are having a baby Mark. Please don't leave us here.”

She lifted his hand to her face and leaned into his lifeless palm. His hands were handsome and clean as always. He kept his nails short, clean and manicured perfectly. She stared at his hands. He hated writing. The thought made her smile. She could write for days nonstop and he could read as much as she could write. He read everything she wrote. Mainly to make sure she wasn’t embarrassing him she was sure. But they had many great conversations about what she wrote and he helped her fill in some details from time to time. Occasionally he would correct an inaccuracy. She could envision his favorite pen in his hand as he made lists. Mark loved making lists. Lists of chores for himself, goals, groceries, etc. It was the only thing he ever wrote besides whatever writing he did at work. She rested his hand back on her face.

“Mark, would you feel better if I used your hand to spank me? I’ll bet that would wake you right up.” Allyson chuckled to herself. She didn’t know how long she stood there. But she had not left his side when she looked over at the window and saw that it was getting dark out. She asked the nurse if she could sleep in the room and she said yes. She got Allyson blankets and a pillow and said she was welcome to stay every night if she wished.

The next day, Mark’s parents and brother came to visit. His mother and she left the men and went down to the cafeteria and had coffee.

“How are you feeling you darling girl? What a thing to have happen while you are pregnant. Are you okay?”

“Yes. Mostly just worried.”

“So, how is married life with my son?”

Allyson looked up at her new mother in law and grinned.

“Well...I mean Mark is unusual. It is unexpectedly good.”

Dana Grey found the comment odd.

“Why would you put it like that?”

“Because Mark is so fierce. But he has been such a gentleman since he found out I was pregnant and we got married. He is gentle and kind and tender. He was just a bit gruff before that.”

“I am so delighted he finally decided to settle down and have children. I always felt he would make the best father. But he has been busy with his career. He needs a little girl to steal his heart and a little boy to play ball with. Tell me Allyson, how did you two meet?”

There it was. That question she had been dreading.

“Well, when my father was shot, he was the officer who interviewed me. He kept checking on me to make sure I hadn’t slit my wrists. He cooked me dinner. He talked to me constantly after my father died. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He wanted to make sure I was okay. Or maybe he just had a huge crush on me, I don’t know. But we just sort of fell in love. I was a reporter at the time. I used to report on the Police Department news. He taught me how not to hate the police so much and to have a balanced perspective. Self serving somewhat. Because he was falling for me, I suppose.”

She didn’t lie, but she left out a whole lot of detail that would only serve to upset his mother and him if he ever found out about it.

“Taught you, indeed. I can only imagine what that entailed. The hours of lecturing.”

Allyson looked at her and grinned.

“Oh...Mrs. Grey, you have no idea.”

Mrs. Grey studied her new daughter in law with amusement. She knew Allyson was a reporter who was known for her disdain of the police force. She also knew the girl she was seeing before her eyes was not the girl she had once been. She would have loved to be in the know about the real story behind their relationship.

Allyson giggled at the mortification she imagined Mrs. Grey would feel if she knew how horrible her handsome son had been to her. But, alas, there was no need to reveal any of that. He would wake up one day soon and life would go on. No sense taking huge steps backward by informing on him to his mother. In any case, she enjoyed entertaining the thought just the same.

“Mrs. Grey, what was Mark’s childhood like? I mean, he won’t tell me a thing about his military career. And I feel like there is so little I know about him. Did he have girlfriends, was he good in school, was he a good kid?”

“Well...the military career, he would never talk about to anyone. All we know is that he has a pretty damn high security clearance and he was in some black ops unit. We didn’t see him very much over the years. It was 24 long years of him going silent on the radio most of the time. If he came home for holidays it was brief. He played hard. He never seemed to have time for girlfriends. He was a pretty good kid. Smart. Made good grades. Kept to himself a lot. Antagonized his siblings about like everyone. He never really caused too much of a ruckus in our home. He and his father did not always get along. Grady is a lot calmer now than he used to be when the kids were younger. So many rules and very strict over the dumbest things sometimes.”

“Hahaha! I am sure he gave them hell. He is good at that. His wit is never-ending.”

“We would sit and have coffee in the mornings when he was in highschool and he would give me the latest on all of his friends and their families at school. Some days he had me laughing so hard I would still be laughing after I dropped him off. He gave the teachers a run for their money because of his rapt intelligence. He always knew he was going somewhere in life. He came back and gave talks about military life for the up and coming from time to time. Most of his teachers liked him well enough. He was always a thinker. Always a step ahead of the rest.”

“Well, I can assure you nothing has changed.”

They returned to Mark’s room and Grady and Keith took their turn at coffee. Allyson liked her mother in law. She was not only good company but she adored Allyson. She was delighted there was new grandchild on the way before she died. She wanted to see Mark’s children. As luck would have it, Allyson needed to go downstairs for an ultrasound in the morning and she was going to find out whether they were having a boy or girl.

“Mrs. Grey. Mom. Would you like to come with me tomorrow morning for my ultrasound appointment? I am finding out whether I am having a boy or a girl and exactly how far along I am.”

“Oh! For heaven’s sake! Yes! I would be delighted to come along!’

Allyson informed the staff that she had an ultrasound and to please NOT wake Mark up while she was gone. The appointment was at 7:30 a.m. and she would come right back up when she was done at 9:00 a.m. or so. They agreed not to wake him up until

10:00 a.m. the following day.

In the meantime, Mark’s parents took Allyson to dinner while Gabriel and Vivien sat with Mark.

Mark’s mother met Allyson down in the lobby in the morning and they headed over to the X-Ray Lab where her Ultrasound would take place. She was prepped and ready to go and Dana was allowed to come in and sit by her side. It was a good fifteen minutes before the tech turned the screen so Allyson could see. She positioned the wand a certain way and said,

“Can you see that?”

“Yes! Is it a little girl?”


Allyson grabbed Dana’s hand and started to cry.

“I am having a little girl. Mark is going to be delighted!”

“I am delighted!” Dana exclaimed with excitement.

“I am too. Awwhhh look at her in there. She is moving and chewing on her fingers.”

Dana was holding Allyson’s hand staring at the screen. Allyson looked back at Dana and tears were spilling down her cheeks. Dana looked at her daughter in law and said,

“Don’t you worry. He is going to be just fine, dear. He will be. He has survived much worse than a gunshot wound. There is no way in hell he would leave you and this beautiful child behind. You have to have faith.”

They got back to Mark’s room at 9:45 a.m. The room was abuzz with technicians and doctors as they got ready to wake Mark up. They asked everyone but Allyson to leave until they got through the first 30 minutes and knew he would not go into distress. His dad seemed annoyed at that but everyone else scooted out without ado.

Mark stared at Allyson as she came into the room and told his dad and brother they were having a baby girl. He felt himself start to cry. A baby girl. He was really going to be a father. It wasn’t a dream. ‘I want to name her Marisa.’ he thought. It was the name of a baby girl he once tried to save. Her mother was ill and dying. He had promised the mother he would take her back to the U.S. and raise Marisa as his own and she would live a good life. But the infant had died soon after the mother. Now he could keep his promise to the poor Bedouin mother out in the dessert. “Marisa Allyson Grey. M.A.G. He would call her Maggie.” Allyson looked so beautiful. She was clean and fresh and young. She was a good girl. She just needed someone to care enough to bring it out of her. She had come a long way since he met her. He had come a long way. How could that once terrible girl make him fall in love for the first time? She was smarter than she first appeared. He grinned to himself.

They stopped the drip at 10:00 a.m. The older nurse who encourage her to hold Mark’s hand and talk to him held her hand again.

“Don’t expect much. It will take ten minutes for him to start showing signs of life but you have to wait. He is going to panic first at the intubation. Then we will start the drip again until he calms down, pull the tubes and wake him back up. We just want to make sure he is going to breathe on his own.”

Allyson nodded and watched Mark’s face as tears rolled down his cheeks and he smiled slightly.

“Why is he crying?!” she whispered

“We don’t know honey. It’s normal though. He is okay. He is on some pretty good pain killers.”

What the fuck is in my throat. I can’t breathe. Something is wrong with my throat. Why are my eyelids so heavy? What is happening? How come I can’t see Allyson anymore?

He tried talking to see if she was here but he couldn’t talk.

Mark started to thrash and panic a little. His hands came up to grab the tubes and they held him back and turned up the meds again. Five minutes later he was calm again. The nurses told everyone to stand back and they started removing Mark’s tubes. They left his IV in place for meds but took out the breathing tubes and cannula. What an ugly thing for Allyson to watch. Once everything was out, most of the staff disappeared and only the doctor was left.

“Mrs. Grey, will Mr. Grey have help when he gets home?”

“Yes. I work from home and can take care of him full time.”

“Will he be able to walk?”

“Yes. When he leaves here he will be able to walk and shower. We won’t let him go home until he is ready. He will move to a regular room prior to going home so we can monitor his ability for self care. But he will need someone with him at all times for least a couple of weeks.”

Mark started reaching for Allyson’s hand. He was waking up slowly. He tried turning his head but stopped. She leaned into his ear and whispered,

“I am here, Baby. I love you so much. You are going to be fine.” He squeezed her hand.

“Can he talk?” Allyson asked the doctor.

“Yes. He can. But it might agitate his lung at first.”

Mark pulled her hand and motioned for her to come closer. She lowered her ear to his mouth.

“I want to name our baby girl Marisa.”

Allyson’s eyes were wide as saucers. He had heard her.

“Okay, honey. That is a beautiful name.” she smiled with tears in her eyes. How did he know?

“Mr. Grey...Hi. My name is Dr. Haliford. I am the surgeon who operated to remove the bullet from your back rib cage and repair your lung. You are going to be fine. Apparently, you were shot during a traffic stop yesterday morning. You came in at about 2:45 a.m. by helicopter. You will be here in ICU for about a week and then we will try to get you moved to a regular room and moving on your own. You will go through some routine therapies and some targeted ones and that will take about another week to get through and then you should be good to go home. Is it okay with you if Mrs. Grey helps you at home?”

Mark nodded yes. Allyson thought to herself, ‘We can’t hear you, Mr. Grey…” but dared not say it, joking or not. She silently chuckled to herself. The man had a memory like a steel trap. It was best not to play dangerous games with him.

“It will take a total of 6-8 weeks to heal completely. You might need help when you first get home but after about a week of rest, you should be back up to normal for the most part, save a few minor things.”

Gabriel came over at lunch time in full uniform. That gets him in the door almost anywhere. Mark looked up at him and started crying. Allyson leaned over and kissed him and said,

“Honey, I will let you two talk. I am going out to lunch with your parents.” He nodded.

Gabriel sat down next to him. He shook his hand and Mark would not let go.

“I was terrified I was going to go out this way. I want to see my daughter grow up.” he whispered.

“You are going to be fine, Mark. Everything looks good. You came through surgery just fine. Robert and I went and gave a ride here at 3:30 a.m. We had to wake her up. I sat here with her until they brought you out of surgery. She was a wreck. We got the guy who shot you Mark. Mark shook his head no.

“No. You didn’t. It was a woman. Not a guy.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I heard her giggle and tell me to ‘die bastard’ and she giggled again. I smelled her perfume too.”

Gabriel stood there staring at him for the longest time. He finally nodded and asked

“Did you see her?”

“No. I only heard her but did not see her at all. But God help her if I smell her perfume again because it was unmistakable and her voice. I know her voice, Gabe.”

“The Sheriff pulled up right as it was happening. They treated the guy they did catch pretty hospitably.” Gabriel chuckled. Mark grinned but made no sound. He knew for a fact they had the wrong guy. It was okay though. When he got out, he would hunt this bitch down himself.

“Gabriel. Please make Allyson stay with you and don't let her back in our house without you.”

“Robert and I already thought about that, Mark. We will watch over her and your daughter. Don’t worry.”

“Allyson is having a girl.” Mark whispered, smiling. He needed to change the subject because he did not want to jeopardize his chance to hunt and track the killer. He was sure whoever it was, was actually out to get Allyson. He was the third hit in her life in a short time.

“Yes, I assumed by what you said earlier. Congratulations. I look forward to meeting her. How do you feel?”

“Like shit. Hopefully Allyson won’t lock me up downstairs and throw the key away.”

“Jesus Mark! That girl is 100% in love with you.”

“I know. I am kidding. But I have been so Goddamn mean to her. She is so sweet.”

“She is sweet because you were mean to her. Never forget that. She was terrible before you got to her.”

“Yeah. Maybe. Anyway, what can you tell me about the asshole who shot me?”

“No. Not maybe. You had everything to do with her change in behavior. Don’t get soft in the head. None of us can afford it.”

“And the perp...the guy you pulled over used his cell phone to call in help from his friends on the street. Gang bangers as you probably surmised at the stop. It was on the East Side so who’s to say? But in any case, he is 24 and been arrested on eight other occasions for violence related crimes. He won’t be getting away too soon this time.”

“What is his name?”

Gabriel looked at Mark for a long time before finally answering.

“No. I am not giving you that just yet. Sorry.”

“Gabriel.” Mark rolled his eyes.


“It’s not him. I want to know who the woman was.”

Gabriel knew the minute Mark got free enough to move even a little bit, the shooter would be dead. And possibly the guy who called him in and all of their known connected friends. And who could blame him. Knowing Mark, it would never be proven. The least Gabriel could do was make him work for it.

“I respect you, Mark. I do. But I also have to respect the breed of animal you are. Much like trainers have to respect that they are dealing with lions and tigers. I want you to be the one to raise your daughter. No.”

Mark grinned.

“Okay Morrison. Whatever. But you have nothing to worry about. I don’t believe you have the right guy anyway, and when I get on my feet, it is a woman I will be looking for.”

“Well if she is out killing people...she deserves to be found by you.” Gabriel grinned at Mark. The two shook hands and Gabriel headed back to work. Mark fell asleep waiting for his parents and Allyson. Gabriel leaned down and whispered in Mark’s ear,

“I am on your side. I will help you anyway I can. No worries.”

Allyson walked in with Mark’s parents quietly. She could hardly wait to get to his side and touch him. She missed him. She was used to sleeping and breathing with him every night and she hated this time away from him. She had run home to pick up her car. She got his cologne, toothbrush and a few other things she thought he might like. She brought him the daily newspaper and his favorite coffee in a Thermos. His parents stayed for an hour and then took their leave. Vivien and Vera promised to take her to dinner so she could get out of the hospital while Gabe and Robert visited and talked business with Mark. They also brought him his cellphone and wallet. They collected his badge, duty belt including his gun and took it all back to the station with them.

They were alone after his parents left at last. She stood at the end of his bed after closing the door.

“How are you, Baby?” Mark whispered. Allyson started to cry. He waved her over to his side.

“Mark, I can’t lay on your chest.”

“Just come down to my cheek.”

Allyson took his face in her hands and kissed him. Mark closed his eyes. The smell and taste of her sweet mouth was intoxicating. She was freshly showered with newly applied cosmetics and perfume. She smelled of class and cleanliness. She was crisp. Beautiful.

“Allyson, I want to tell you about something that happened to me.” She sat upright on the side of the bed astonished.

“When I was shot, I left my body. I walked through our house looking for you. The covers were thrown back on our bed, your robe was on the floor. I remember flashes from the scene. I heard Gabriel give you $100. I heard you tell my dad and brother we were having a girl. I turned my head and had my eyes open when you came in or felt like I did. I saw you in your jeans and peach blouse and you did not have your wedding ring on.”

Allyson had heard of this happening but it was weird hearing a first hand case of it happening.

“Oh honey! That is wonderful. What an experience. It happens to people a lot.”

“There is life after death, Allyson. I have to live better.”

“Mark, you are living just fine. You are a wonderful husband. You will be a good father to little Marisa. I love that name. How did you come up with that?”

“I can’t afford to cry right now. Can I explain later?”

His eyes weighted hers to the spot. She smiled and and nodded.

“Sure, Honey. Do you need rest? I can leave you alone.”

Mark grasped her hand.

“I do. But can you stay? Come here. Lift up your top. I want to put my hand on our daughter and feel her.”

Allyson did as he asked and placed his hand over her abdomen. He held his hand there for a long time.

“Mark, she was chewing and sucking on her fingers during the Ultrasound. It was so cute. Your mom was there and got to see it. The pictures of babies are so clear nowadays.”

He had tears running down his cheeks but didn’t say anything. So much for not crying. He kept rubbing her stomach and would not take his hand away. He finally rubbed her tummy and pulled her top down and started talking to her. He pulled her as close as he could.

“Allyson, I love you. I am so sorry I have been so hard on you. I am sorry I spanked you for looking in my closet. That is your closet too now. I was wrong. I love you so much.”

“It’s okay Baby. I love you too. And no, Mark. I should have waited.”

“But if I would have died last night or yesterday or whenever I was...shot, you would have read everything anyway. It wouldn’t have mattered.”

She got up and went to the end of his bed and untucked the blankets. She started giving him a foot massage. He smiled at her. She always knew just what to do. Marks feet were always clean and trimmed. He had beautiful feet although he didn’t seem to think so. They were even and resembled his hands. She continued up his leg to massage his calf and met his gaze.

“Are you being naughty, Pretty Girl.”

“I might be.”

“I didn’t bring the paddle though so you will have to wait to spank me.”

He grinned at her and whispered,

“As if. They did not do surgery on my hand, you know.”

She started giggling.

“Well, I won’t push you too hard, Officer. You need your rest.”

She got done with a total foot and calf massage on both feet and calves and returned to the head of the bed to hold his hand. She held her cheek to his and laid her head on his pillow while she stood next to the bed. She whispered in his ear,

“I miss sleeping and breathing with you, honey. I miss your touch and your spanks and rough sex and it has only been three nights.” He squeezed her hand and breathed in deeply the scent of his beautiful wife.

“This is going to be okay Allyson.”

“Honey? Do you know who shot you?”

“No, baby. I do not. But I would appreciate it if you would not go home until I get out of here. Please do not go home without Robert and Gabriel being there with you. Because whoever did this, is most likely a danger to you as well. Either stay here or go with one of those guys but do not go alone.”

“Okay, Mark. I promise, I won’t.”

“If you do, I will spank you when I get out of here.”

Allyson smiled at him.

“You promise?”

Mark grinned at her and looked her up and down.

“Maybe I will just say I went there…”

“Yes. Then I could spank you for lying.”

Allyson’s precious giggle rang out and filled the room with music to Mark’s ears.

She got out her laptop and got to work on a diary of his stay in the ICU. She thought it would be useful to write it all down so he could look back on her fears and thoughts but furthermore, so their child could sometime down the road.

Hmmm. Maybe that is why she spent most of her life being so naughty. She liked her spankings and regularly. Well, well, Miss Stryden, I think I can accommodate you. He peeked at her through his eyelids as she sat writing. Maybe the very thing that tamed her down, also turned her on. Or maybe it calmed her inner nerves letting someone else worry about her behavior. He did not know. But in any case, he liked this new woman he was now married to. He grinned as he drifted off.

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Defiance-Chapter 23

Four hundred and twenty people attended Mark and Allyson’s wedding. Everyone at the police department came. All of Allyson’s father’s attorney friends were there. The media was there. Mark’s family and all of their combined friends came. It was good the cathedral was so large or there would not be room enough to hold everyone. The ceremony was like Robert and Vera’s and went on for nearly three hours. 

It was agreed that Stella’s husband Pete should walk Allyson down the aisle. Gabriel was Mark’s best man and Robert also stood up for him. Vera and Vivien were bridesmaids and Stella was the Matron of Honor. She did not ask Vivien because she did not want to hurt Vera. Under the circumstances she thought it best to avoid it altogether. The priests went down the aisle first, then Mark and Gabriel, then Robert and the Ring bearer. He had purchased a very expensive ring and did not want the little boy going down the aisle alone so Robert walked him down. After a certain turn in the song Highland Cathedral, Pete and Allyson headed up the aisle. Once Allyson and Pete headed up the long aisle, Stella, Vera and Vivien walked down all three side by side behind the bride. 

It was a beautiful wedding and everyone there was happy to see Allyson happy and subdued. There was no reception line and a limo was waiting to take the entire wedding party to the reception behind the altar when the ceremony was over. They were all driven over to the Overture center where they could change and attend the reception. One hundred and fifty people were invited to dine with them and join in on the festivities. The catering company had prepared the fanciest foods and champagne. 

The band was a big band that played music resembling a 1940s. It was beautiful. The cake was large and very old fashioned. Tall, multi-layered rounds and every cake was a different flavor. After supper was over the reception opened for dancing and dessert to all who had attended the wedding earlier. It was a good thing because the cake was enough to feed a thousand people. There were professional bakery boxes for people to take cake home if they wanted. They served champagne and punch for free and a cash bar was available at both ends of the room. There were no children allowed. 

Mark knew Allyson’s full name as he had investigated her before he ever took her from her apartment. Her name was Allyson Isabel Stryden after her mother. She, however, did not know Mark’s middle name. So it was with great surprise that Allyson said her “I do’” in answer to the priests question;

“Do you, Allyson Isabel Stryden, take Mark Alexander Grey to be your lawfully wedded husband…” It wasn’t a big deal. She just had never thought to ask. She was taken back that he had known hers because the subject had never come up and she had never thought about it. She later teased him about his initials being M.A.G. short for Magnum. It was with great affection that she nicknamed her husband Magnum PI from that day forward. It was her private joke regarding his mysterious knowledge of everything. There was nothing he couldn’t find out about a person once he set his mind to it and she made sure never to jade the facts about anything with him. She would only end up embarrassed and possibly spanked for it.

When the first dance began, Mark and Allyson delighted all of their guests by having taken dance lessons. The dance was perfectly stepped out by the two of them and the music was beautiful. After they were done, the money dance with the bride ensued. The reception ended at midnight but Mark kept close tabs on Allyson to make sure she was holding up okay. She was two and a half months pregnant and still tired and getting morning sickness. He checked with her around 10:30 p.m.

“Allyson, I think we should get you to bed. You need your rest.”

“Do we have to go now? It is our wedding day and I am having fun.”

“I know but you won’t be in the morning. We only have a three day honeymoon and I want you to get some rest. It has been a long day. But let’s leave at 11:00 p.m. That will give you more time.”

She smiled and nodded.

“Okay. Perfect.”

At 11:00 p.m. they said their goodbyes headed over to their hotel to the King Waterfront Suite Mark reserved for them. They were taking a short honeymoon at the Edgewater Hotel and doing a massage and spa package to relax and enjoy one another’s company and eat good food. But there would be no romance that night to speak of. She was beat. He took her up to their room and helped her out of her wedding dress and into her sleepwear, tucked her into bed and then got ready himself. He hung her dress and then his tux. He straightened up and climbed into bed behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and fell fast asleep. 

They got five perfect hours of sleep before Allyson started feeling queasy and completing her usual scheduled worship of the porcelain god. Thankfully by morning there was nothing in her stomach. It didn’t last long either. Usually by 9:00 a.m. she was fine. But that was little consolation when it started at four or five in the morning without fail. She was happy on this morning that Mark had insisted she get to bed. Since her morning schedule woke him up, he wanted to make sure he got sleep as well. Mark sat up and stretched and called room service. He ordered apple juice, tea and crackers for his wife and coffee for himself. He sat up in bed and waited for her return.

When Allyson came out of the bathroom she looked at her husband as she walked back to the bed. He was so awake and handsome. He never had a smashed face when he woke up like she did. It was the one injustice in the world she was determined to ask God about one day should they ever meet. A man could be good looking without an ounce of make-up, grey hair and sleep in his eyes...but a woman needed Crayola people to get her out the door in the morning. Why was that? Although Allyson did not wear a lot of make-up, what little she wore, she needed to feel whole before leaving the house...or in this case...their hotel room. She pulled the covers back on the side he was on and straddled his lap. She sat staring at him. He looked up into her eyes and started grinning.

“Good morning, my dear wife.”

“Good morning, my handsome husband. I never thought I would marry. And if someone had told me the day after I was arrested that I would have married you...I might have shot them.”

He grinned at her.

“Likewise, my wicked little wench.”

Allyson wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her pelvis into his groin as she leaned in to kiss him. The deeper the kiss, the firmer she felt him grow against her abdomen. Mark ran his hands up her thighs and to her buttocks…

“Where are your panties you naughty girl?” He grinned into her mouth as he kissed her.

“I don’t know...I might have left them in the bathroom.”

“You don’t know? Do you often lose them with no memory of where they fell?”

She started laughing.

“No. Obviously I took them off so I could come to bed and play.”

“You mean come to bed and attack me.”

“You are hilarious, Mark. As IF anyone could ever attack you.”

“Well, clearly they can because here you are…”

“Well, you are a big boy. I happen to know you are quite capable of defending yourself.”

“Hmmm...not against you, apparently.”

She grinned from ear to ear. She was enjoying their banter, however, never for a second did she believe a word he said. As long as it was fun and games maybe, but never for real. Mark was a panther by nature and if he smelled a rat, he would pounce.

She ran her hands down his chest and to his sleep pants. She lowered his elastic waistband and pulled his erection free. She lifted herself up and slid him inside of her and rose and fell taking him deep inside of her. Marks head fell back and his eyes closed as his wife continued her assault on him. She licked and nipped at his neck and his ear and back to his lips. He was about to come and she stopped. He opened his eyes and she was staring at him. She slowly began to move again and held his gaze. She moved in slow but methodical and shallow slides making sure he was deep inside of her and was stroking her front vaginal wall with every move she made. As he felt himself begin to ignite he gripped her hips and buttocks and squeezed her as his body tensed. His grip caused her to lose control and fall over the edge with him.

“Oh! Baby!” he whispered as he came.

Allyson was panting and spent when she was done. She lifted off of him and snuggled up beside him in their sitting position. Right as she was about to doze off there was a knock on their door.

“Oh yes, room service.” he commented. He tucked himself back into his pajama pants and grabbed his robe and answered the door. The servant wheeled the cart in and left with the tip Mark gave her. He wheeled the cart into their bedroom and got back in bed with Allyson who was dozing off. He grabbed his coffee and the newspaper and sat there and read while she slept.

When she awoke and got past the morning sickness, they set about planning their day. They talked at length about her starting her blog and setting up an LLC for the profits. Mark told her to talk more to Gabriel and Vivien and find out how they had gone about it. He liked the idea that Allyson would be an at home wife and mother. He did not want her to stagnate. He wanted her to have work she was satisfied with. He also suggested she take some workshops and classes on how to improve her craft in writing and promised to send her wherever she would like to go to attend what interested her. After a blissful three days alone and receiving spa treatments, they returned home to settle in and set up Allyson’s blog.

It was 12:30 p.m. on Tuesday and Allyson had been struggling all morning trying to get the paperwork filled out for the LLC for her blog. She was now married and she would be putting Mark’s name on her business but needed his social security number. She texted Mark for several hours and had gotten no response and decided to go searching to see if she could find it herself. Mark had errands to run before work and would not be home until after work around 11 p.m. She was more than frustrated with waiting. The sleeping arrangement had remained exactly the same as it had been before they married. She slept in Mark’s room most of the time but her belongings remained in her own room across the hall. She never had a reason to go into his closet, dresser drawers or nightstand.

“Can I help you find something?” Allyson stood stock still and felt the blood drain from her face.

“I sent you a text message Mark. I need your social security number for the LLC.” He yanked her by the arm out of his closet and slammed his dresser drawer shut on the way out with her. He walked her out of his room by the arm and shut the door with her on the other side of it. He went back to check his nightstand and drawers to make sure nothing was missing. She hadn’t gotten too nosey because everything was unopened and only lightly leafed through. Allyson stood in the hallway frozen. She was afraid to leave because she didn’t feel like he was done with her. She finally went into her room and shut the door quietly and sat on her bed waiting for a bomb to drop. She heard his bedroom door open finally and she held her breath. She wished the floor would just swallow her whole; immediately. She heard her door knob turn and jumped as he came walking in.

“Come here.” he said. Tears stung her eyes immediately. She had meant no harm and thought she would find it easily. They had never talked about such things and she had not even known his middle name until their wedding day. She came out into the hall and he stood in his bedroom doorway motioning her in. He motioned for her to sit on the bed.

“First of all, I have confidential papers in there that pertain to my previous life that I do not want shared. I will move them so that this never happens again. Second of all, I have never once gone into your room since you have been here and pilfered through your things. Since you and I have never discussed where tax papers, birth certificates and social security cards are, I think you should have waited until you could talk to me. Filling out paperwork can wait. I am sorry you got impatient. But that is not an excuse for rude and invasive behavior.” He stood staring into her tearful eyes. She nodded her head in understanding and said,

“I am sorry Mark. I promise you I was not trying to find out anything or be nosey. I just was trying to see if I could find what I needed. I wasn’t reading anything. I didn’t learn anything new. I was just frustrated and wanted to find your social security card. I swear to you that I am telling you the truth.” He nodded at her. He believed her. But he was still going to spank her for her rude behavior.

“Allyson, pull your pants down and bend over the bed.” Allyson started crying uncontrollably. She had not had a disciplinary incident with Mark in so many months she forgot when the last time was. Mark took off his belt as she got ready. The shock of the first stinging strikes made Allyson feel like she was exploding. Mark was talking to her but she could not concentrate on a word he said because she was in pain. She covered her mouth to muffle her cries. Mark was spanking her hard. She was counting internally and was grateful he stopped after giving her ten strikes. Allyson was shaking and could not even think of trying to talk. She turned to sit up and was having a hard time because of it. She could not look up at him. He was still talking to her and she was looking off to the side nodding her head. At some point she knew she was allowed to go but could not remember what was said. She wandered into her room and shut the door and laid down on the bed and cried herself to sleep. When she woke up, Mark was gone for work. He had left her a note.

Dear Allyson,

I love you. I hope that you are not angry. Please understand that I made it clear from the start that inappropriate behavior would be dealt with swiftly. Underneath this note are copies of all of my personal documents you could ever need for your purposes. Please ask me if you need anything else. I will see you when I get home tonight.




Allyson was happy he had left the note. She wasn’t ready to curl up in his lap or hug him or anything yet. But she was at least glad he wasn’t mad. It freed up her mind to get over being mad herself. She filled out all of her paperwork online and submitted it all and decided to go to bed early. She was mentally, physically and emotionally tired. She was four months pregnant. She laid in bed thinking about all that had happened. 

Now that she was in bed she could not fall asleep. She was actually pretty surprised he had spanked her at all. He had gone so easy on her over everything since she became pregnant. She had actually gotten away with a few things because of it. But she never really took it for granted. There were times she thought she would be in trouble and he had gone easy on her and this time she was innocent at least as far as her intent was concerned, and he had been fast and hard on her. She could not help but wonder if his hidden paperwork stated that he was crazy. She knew men like himself who had gone so high up in the military never did want to talk about it. Her phone lit up on her nightstand. It was Mark. He sent her a text.

Mark: “What are you doing?”

Allyson: “I just climbed into bed for an early night. What are you doing?”

Mark: “Running a driver’s license at a traffic stop on a 15 over in a 25. Very boring. Are you in our bed?”

Allyson: “No. I thought after today you would not want me in your room.”

Mark: “Allyson, get in our bed. I will let you know if I don’t want to sleep with you. And most likely, I would be the one to leave. I would not kick you out of our bed.”

Allyson: “I did not know you thought of it as ours. I have always thought of it as your bed. You put me in my own room and it has remained that way even after we married.” Mark: “Allyson, I don’t mind sharing. It just seems it works better this way for our clothes and you have your privacy dressing and such. I thought you would appreciate that being pregnant so I just left it that way after our wedding.”

Allyson: “I do appreciate my own space. I am not complaining. I just did not know you thought of your bed as ours.”

Mark: “Well, I do now. We are married. And you better be in it when I get home. I don’t mind you sneaking off to yours when you are sick or you don’t want to keep me awake or something. But I have grown fond of sleeping with you at my side. I am pretty sure our baby was conceived in that bed.” Allyson smiled. It was hard for her to stay mad at this man. Even though he was so damn hard on her sometimes.

Mark: “Are you mad at me?”

Allyson: “No. I will get in our bed Mark, Sir. But I am dozing off. Good luck with the traffic stop. Quit taking so long. You are probably making the poor person nervous.” Mark: “Poor person, my ass. He is going to jail. I am waiting for the Sheriff’s Dept to come get him and arranging to have his vehicle towed. He blew a .10. You better be naked. Good night Pretty Girl.” Allyson rolled her eyes at her husband’s comments about his traffic stop. All the gold in Fort Knox could not have enticed her to be in that position with her husband. She felt sorry for the people.

Allyson: “Good night, Officer.”

“Officer.” he thought as he sat waiting for the Sheriff's Department. He didn't care for it coming from the woman he was so in love with, however, for Allyson, it was a landslide move in the right direction. It was her way of completely yielding to him. And under the circumstances, he would let it rest. Sometime down the road, he would think about putting a stop to it. A submissive was not exactly what Mark wanted. He wanted her submission and humility to an extent. But he enjoyed the snap, crackle and pop of her intelligence and a good challenge once in a while. Allyson was all of that. She was no ordinary girl. She knew how to reign him in without making him think it was happening and he appreciated that about her. She had laid down her ego for the greater good and had gained everything from him. Mark heard a loud pop and started coughing. He did not know what hit him in the chest but it felt like something flew into his chest and he could not cough it out. He heard shouting as he fell asleep.

Allyson was sound asleep but something had awakened her. A loud bang. Several loud bangs. There it was again. She jumped up. Nobody had ever knocked on Mark’s door. The banging kept coming. She looked at her phone to see what time it was.

3:30 a.m. There were six missed calls and 14 text messages from Vivien, Gabriel, Robert, and Vera. More banging. She froze. Mark. No. Oh God. She moved like a robot to the front door and opened it. Their front yard was lit up like the 4th of July with police cruisers and their lights as far as she could see. Gabriel and Robert stood on her porch. Gabriel spoke first.

“Allyson, Mark was shot at the scene of a traffic stop tonight but as far as we know is still alive. Please get dressed and come with us. We will take you to him.” Robert came in and told her to grab her charger, purse and phone. He made sure she had what she would absolutely need at the hospital. She opted to ride in the back of Gabriel’s cruiser. The ride to the hospital was made in silence. Allyson wiped away her tears.

Gabriel did not miss that this was the third man in Allyson’s life to take a bullet. He was going to get with Robert to explore the possibilities.

“Allyson, let me know when you are ready to leave, I will come get you. You are welcome to stay with us if you need to.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. I will call you. Thank you and Robert both for being the ones to come tell me. I know you were both home in bed.”

She did not miss the irony in the situation. Her only support system right now was the very police department she had once loathed; and they her.

If someone had told her only a few short months back, that her heart would be breaking at the possibility of Mark’s death, she would have laughed in their face. Yet as Gabriel pulled into the parking garage of UW Hospital, she felt as though her world had turned upside down. The one man who had turned her into the good girl she had always longed to be, was laying somewhere within these walls fighting for his life. He could not die. She would not allow herself to think of it. She could not bear the thought of a life without him.

To Be Continued in Playing With Fire

Fall 2019